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I am at my wits end here i dont know what to do . I have been married for a little over 3 years. I met him 3 years ago and he had a 4 year old daughter at the time. I was 18 with no kids. His ex was already married. I now have two sons with my husband and she is getting a divorce has been seperated for like 2 years now and has one son with her ex husband and she has a boyfriend . when I first married my husband I was ok with the situation because they only had contact when it came to his daughter and it was strictly business so altough it would have been a deal breaker to have an ex in the picture everything was respectable. She leaves her husband and now she constantly calls my husband and texts him for anything like o i had a dream call me seriously . He now goes into her house he gives her money outside of child support which is understandable if shes spending it on my step daughter but my poor baby is coming over with high water pants she is constantly telling me none of her clothes fit her at her moms. Her mother gets 600 dollars child support from her ex husband 360 from my husband plus cash aid and she strippers at two different places and her boyfriend helps pay rent which is 1000 for a two bedroom so i know she has good money my mother raised 3 kids on a kmart job and no child support so come on all our clothes always fit us The only thing I could think of is that she spends money on her ligerie for stripping and shes attending college so there tuition and she wears name brand clothes when we go passed nordstrom in the mall my stepdaughter says o my mom always shops there. My husbad is constantly kissing her ass. When ever she sends her in decent clothes she always asks for them back and i make sure she gets them. we send her in really nice clothes and she sends her here in sweats and boy clothes things that dont fit her thats fine we dont ask for them back. however last year was the first time i got to buy her a halloween costume it was a puppy i wanted to ssave it with my sons first costumes it means alot to me i dont know how many times i asked for it and more then a year later i havent seen it this year we had her for halloween and i sent her home with the costume her mom bought right away . it makes me mad because i never open my mouth about anything i disagree with unless asked or if its really inappropriate i asked my husband please dont go in her home i dont appreciate it. he goes in anyway i dont say anything. shes constantly texting and calling just to chit chat i ask him please dont do that i dont appreciate it he does it anyway i dont say anything he gives her money and he asked what i thought i said we owe 10,000 dollars in child support so at least she should give us a note so child support knows your giving her money. he doesnt ask for a note i dont say anything . His ex is constantly saying how its his fault theyre not together which i hate i cant say anything to her cuz he says if i piss her off she wont let his daughter come over so I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I feel freaking invisable i dont know what to do or say cuz if i complain and i have a right to he turns around and yells at me like i complain to much that its pushing him away. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP. I CANT JUST LEAVE I AM MARRIED I HAVE TWO KIDS. o and when ever i want to go anywhere he gives me an attitude first even if i have to go grocery shopping hes like u always have to go shopping.He wont let me go to school and I finally convinced him to let me work!
to” a chick ” the point was when she was married my husband wasnt aloud in her house she said out of respect for her husband. now that she has her own place hes aloud to be in there but wheres the respect for me being his wife. it shows theres no mutual respect for me.
to”nathan” yep u said dont get married til your older for all the girls i was 18 my husband was 30 think before you act girls i didnt

4 Thoughts on why does everyone treat the stepmom like sh*t?
  1. Reply
    Suzan Anka
    September 2, 2011 at 5:09 am

    you need to have a talk with your husband.

  2. Reply
    a chick
    September 2, 2011 at 5:40 am

    He has a daughter with someone else and you try to forbid him from going in his ex’s house? That’s ridiculous. These questions from the stepmom always paint the actual mother in such a horrible light and you’re always quick to say how much you do for the child. Well, maybe you do maybe you don’t but you either leave your husband or deal with the fact that until their daughter is out of the house, he has to have contact with her.

  3. Reply
    Nathan Birnbaum
    September 2, 2011 at 6:01 am

    I hope everyone reads this, and learns the lesson:



    With that said, it appears that you marred a disrespectful controlling man.

    You either live with it, or leave him.

    I suggest you talk to a marriage counselor, with or without him.

  4. Reply
    September 2, 2011 at 6:23 am

    You may want to check out a show of DadsDivorce Live which focused on the stepmothers in their viewing audience. editor Matt Allen spoke with Rachelle Katz a psychotherapist, a stepmother and the author of the new book “The Happy Stepmother: Stay Sane, Empower Yourself and Thrive in Your New Family.”

    You may want to look through as they have content related to stepmothers. Or you can submit a question through their Ask A Lawyer feature.

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