Article Score0

I’m a 20 something who is currently living with my cousin who is also 20 something who is a little older than me. After college, I lived on my own and worked for every dime that I have and kept myself debt free and my bank account with a nice amount saved thanks to frugality.

This guy had been living with my parents before moving in with me completely rent free while working majority of the time. Since this year, my parents have allowed us to stay in a spare house that neither of us have to pay for (for now. I’ll have to toe the mortgage later on) but we have to pay for our own living expenses. I’ve pretty much paid for ALL of the utilities, vast majority of the food and internet and cable and lots of the furniture (since I had them from my apartment anyway) while clean up and cook for this guy. This guy is currently unemployed and yet would go out and buy a $ 9.99/lb top quality steak and eat out all the time while I’m trying to eat vegetarian and be frugal with well, everything. On top of it, he owes me 3K to pay for his car.

I don’t want to ruin my relationship with anybody (him or my parents who asked him to move in with me) but he pretty much been a financial burden to me. What would you do?
He had also told me on pretty occasion that somebody who works a little while for an employer, then deliberately do something to get themselves “fired” so they could collect unemployment while working in a cash job is “smart”. I’m wondering if he thinks he’s smart by stiffing me and my parents too.

7 Thoughts on How to live w/ somebody who has little idea of financial responsibility/management skills?
  1. Reply
    Steffanie
    December 13, 2011 at 3:42 am

    Politely tell him he needs to start chipping in on utilities/food etc. or he can’t stay there. Give him an ultimatum; find a job and start paying or he’s gotta move out. I’d also give him a deadline on paying you back the 3K and if he doesn’t steal some of his shyt. bahah

    Why did your parents start supporting him anyways?

    Props on the vegetarian thing. 🙂

  2. Reply
    James
    December 13, 2011 at 4:17 am

    I know lots of people like this. The worst thing you could do is throw him out and tell him to figure it out on his own. This is when you’ll lose that relationship and he’ll helplessly spiral south. You need to figure out your balance of what the living expenses are, the car expenses, and what ever else you have paid or will be paying for in the future. Then write up a bill for each month. Since he doesn’t have a job you want to be light with it at first. So make the first month soft, like he owes you about $ 350. Then let him know that the second month will be higher as he should have a job by then. The second month take it to $ 450, and so on and so on. You can take the amount of expenses per month and multiply that by 12 for the year. Then add the 3K for the car and divide that by 12 months or 24 months for the payments.

    This will give him time to pay you back, and it’ll teach him to begin to be responsible. Make sure and draw up a contract with all this information on it. Before approaching him with this, go to your parents. Let your parents know exactly what you’ve told us, that you feel he’s taking advantage of all you. Show them your plan and let them agree to it. This way if for some reason your cousin says no, then you can go back to the parents and they’ll be on your side.

    When your cousin agrees, make sure he signs the contract. Then make a copy, one for you and one for him, with the original one on file. If he breaks the contract then you can do as much as take him to court. Keep a bank statement or copy of the checks given to you by him as of proof to what he’s paid.

    I hope this helps you. Good luck

  3. Reply
    Shar
    December 13, 2011 at 4:57 am

    Do not loan him any money.
    Also stop paying for his half of the bills , if he doesn’t pay go to your parents . Just tell them you can’t afford to keep a free loader , if he don’t pay he has to go or you will .
    Make him pay for his own food, have separate shelf for you food even a lock on a cupboard. Get a password for using the internet , if he doesn’t pay for that he don’t get to use it . and stop cleaning after him .
    Make sure you get a rental agreement set up with him .(even tho you don’t pay rent) .

    you need to think of yourself , if he is a burden on you now how much money will you have when you take over the mortgage

  4. Reply
    Tyler Steinberg
    December 13, 2011 at 5:40 am

    Better start telling this guy nicely first to start contributing and to collect back the 3k that he owes you. Sounds like he’s financially irresponsible and will end up being a financial burden in the future if he doesn’t change. And looking at the way he thinks that getting fired is a good way to collect unemployment benefits shows what kind of person he is. There’s plenty of people out there who need a job for steady income. Suggest you get your money back from him before he disappears.

    Tyler

  5. Reply
    R.F.C.
    December 13, 2011 at 5:43 am

    FOREST, I WOULD COMMUNICATE OPENLY AND MATURELY, LETTTING HIM KNOW THAT HE HAS TO GROW UP! WHAT WOULD HE DO, GOD FORBID IF SOMETHING HAPPENED AND YOU COULD NO LONGER WORK FOR EVERYTHING? Dave Ramsey teaches on finances, using envelopes. By dividing each one acccording to type and amount needed to budjet, once spent, you have Nothing left. You could continue Encouraging a CO-DEPENDENT relationship WITH your cousin or give him an alternative, disregarding the worry of losing your cousin’s love, etc. LOVE HELPS CARRY THE BURDEN AND DOESN’T MANIPULATE AND PLACE ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY ON JUST ONE PERSON. That attitude is SELFISH AND PEOPLE LIKE That ARE CONVINCED THAT EVERYONE OWES THEM AND IT’S THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS OWN PARENTS? TIME FOR YOU TO LEARN ABOUT BOUNDARIES FOR ALL THOSE INVOLVED. SAY NO AND MEAN IT. YOU SHOULD ALSO SHOW TOUGH LOVE BY LETTING ANY BILLS IN HIS NAME GET PAID BY HIM, AND NOT YOU! HE WILL ALWAYS BE DEPENDENT UNLESS HE TAKES RESPONSILITY FOR HIMSELF. IF HE DRIVES, HE CAN WORK!!! Last resort is leave/find a RESPONSIBLE NON RELATED ROOMMATE. LOL!

  6. Reply
    Boy Who Drinks Coffee
    December 13, 2011 at 6:15 am

    just tell him youre having a hard time financially and you need him to kick in and start paying you the 3K. if he says no tell him to find a new place.

  7. Reply
    STEVEN F
    December 13, 2011 at 6:35 am

    You DON’T live with someone that REFUSES to be financially responsible. This situation calls for ‘tough love’. Allowing him to be a parasite is actually cruel. Find out what it required to legally evict him. Than INFORM him that he WILL do X, Y, and Z to become financially responsible, or he will find himself living on the street.

    Leave a reply

    Register New Account
    Reset Password