Life Beyond Sixty !!!!!?

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    Anonymous

    LIFE BEYOND SIXTY

    The cardiologist’s diet:
    if it tastes good, spit it out.

    Maybe it’s true that life begins at sixty.
    But everything else starts to
    wear out, fall out, or spread out.

    There are three signs of old age.
    The first is your loss of memory,
    the other two I forget.

    You’re getting old when
    you don’t care where your spouse goes,
    just as long as you don’t have to go along.

    Old age is when work is a lot less fun
    and fun a lot more work.

    Statistics show that at the age of seventy,
    there are five women to every man.
    Isn’t that the darndest time for a guy
    to get those odds?

    You know you’re getting on in years
    when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

    Old age is when it takes longer
    to rest than to get tired.

    By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
    he’s too old to go anywhere.

    Old age is when
    you have stopped growing at both ends,
    and have begun to grow in the middle.

    Of course I’m against sin;
    I’m against anything that I’m too old to enjoy.

    Billy Graham has described heaven as
    a family reunion that never ends.
    What must hell possibly be like?
    Home videos of the same reunion?

    A man has reached old age
    when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor
    instead of by the police.

    Being a senior adult
    is having a choice of two temptations
    and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

    You know you’re into old age when
    you realize that caution is the only thing
    you care to exercise.

    At my age, “getting a little action” means
    I don’t need to take a laxative.

    Don’t worry about avoiding temptation.
    As you grow older, it will avoid you.

    The aging process could be slowed down
    if it had to work its way through Congress.

    You’re getting old when
    getting lucky means
    you find your car in the parking lot.

    You’re getting old when
    you’re sitting in a rocker
    and you can’t get it started.

    You’re getting old when
    you wake up with that morning-after feeling,
    and you didn’t do anything the night before.

    Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news:
    the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

    It’s hard to be nostalgic
    when you can’t remember anything.

    You know you’re getting old when
    you stop buying green bananas.

    Last Will and Testament:
    Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

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