Since I was quite young, my mother and I haven’t really gotten along. Regardless of the subject, we generally haven’t seen eye to eye. Despite this, there have been some ‘good’ times, and generally, my family is quite content.

As I’ve gotten older (I’m 20 now), our relationship has gotten much worse, and at times, toxic. She has a very passive aggressive personality, which I find almost impossible to deal with. Although I do have an uncalled for attitude at times, it is nothing in comparison to her hurtful ways.
Growing up, she often resorted to the ‘silent treatment’ as a way of punishing me, even if I simply did not agree with her on something. She would often direct degrading and derogatory statements toward me if we were in an argument. If we were disagreeing on something, she automatically would make it in to a personal attack against me, rehash EVERY past instance I was wrong about other things and refuse to take responsibility for being wrong or hurtful whatsoever.
My brother never really argued with her, as he would sort of ‘sponge’ her backhanded comments as opposed to refuting them (which is what I do… I don’t let anyone put me down or make me feel bad about myself, regardless of who they are). Because they have a better relationship, it makes me look like the ‘bad’ child in her eyes. My father and I have a great relationship, however, he seldom helps or advises me when it comes to my relationship with my mother.
I just finished my first year of college, and while I was away, our relationship wasn’t nearly as bad (as I was away, and we did not see or communicate with each other nearly as much). Since moving home for the summer, we have had several major fights, the most recent of which was just two days ago:

I work during the weeks in the summer (to earn extra money for living expenses while away), and spend most weekends with my boyfriend who lives about an hour away. My father, naturally, has no issue with this as I am an adult who is maintaining an adult relationship with someone I love. Before I leave for the weekend, my mother (as she is passive aggressive) often says snarly, snotty comments about me leaving (ie You obviously don’t want to be a member of this family anymore since youre going to spend time with Bob’s family instead this weekend). That is a ridiculous, nonsensical statement, as most of what she says is ridiculous and nonsensical.
When I attempted to spend time with my family this weekend, I made plans with her, only for her to break them and go out with her friends instead.
I was a bit irritated.
I addressed the issue with her, and tried to explain my rationale for being upset, which she blatantly ignored. If she were in my shoes, and I did that to her, shit would have hit the fan. When she confronted me about the ‘attitude’ I consequently had, she LITERALLY blew up, claimed I am disrespectful, selfish, etc. Then, she proceeded to tell me she is cancelling my phone bill, car insurance for not respecting her. I’m sure my father won’t let that happen, but the fact that she has made these threats is evidence that she is desperately trying to bring me down with whatever ‘power’ she holds over me. NOTE: This is not the main reason I am upset, this is just ANOTHER jab she has taken at me.

I am grateful to my parents for everything they do, and try my best to make them proud (I’m generally a good kid… don’t drink, don’t do drugs, have a job, good student), it just never seems to be enough for my mother. I am exhausted by trying to maintain this relationship, and feel that as I am growing up, I need to focus on my personal health, life and sanity instead of this horrible relationship which will never get better.
She hasn’t been in the workforce for almost 25 years and has been a stay at home mother. Sometimes it seems that because she has not ‘gotten out’ much, she tends to sulk more in the fact that the rest of the family is off doing their own things (and has time to sulk over our arguments and her feelings). I would never say that to her, but I have tried to talk with her about our relationship, and these talks seem to go nowhere. She is too proud to try counselling.

Should I end this relationship?